Monday 3 January 2005
It's late on Sunday, January 2. The rest of my family leaves on Wednesday, less than three days from now, and I leave on the following Monday. There are still a number of loose ends to take care of, but I feel that we're on track and ready to go. Praise the Lord...
Over the last few weeks I've felt a mixture of excitement and sadness. Even though overall I'm really happy about our move, that doesn't eliminate the disappointment and pain of leaving behind friends, places and work that I love dearly. (Perhaps I should feel the same way about death.) We've just today had a wonderful bittersweet farewell party with some Christian friends, which drives home the point. But the sadness is rooted in God's blessings to me over my ten-year American sojourn; as C.S. Lewis put it, "the pain now is part of the happiness then".
I've only gradually come to terms with full impact of this move; I've felt too distracted by kids and busywork to think deeply about it. Today we removed some large pieces of furniture from the house, and I think that more than anything gives me the feeling that we ARE going. Honestly, I can't survive long like this!